Blind but Visionary

Have you ever wondered what happens when your entire world changes in an instant? When the person you thought you were suddenly doesn't exist anymore? Kijuan Amey's powerful story answers these questions with unflinching honesty and remarkable hope.

After ten years in the Air Force as an in-flight refueling specialist, Kijuan's life trajectory changed forever when a motorcycle accident claimed his eyesight in 2017. Waking up in darkness, he faced the devastating reality that his military career, independence, and future plans had vanished overnight. "I went from being this super independent 25-year-old to now being this crazily dependent 25-year-old," Kijuan reflects, describing the depression and suicidal thoughts that followed.

Yet amidst this profound loss, Kijuan discovered something remarkable – while he had lost his physical sight, his vision remained intact. "Before and after my accident, I was always looking to help others," he explains. This fundamental purpose became his anchor through rehabilitation, learning to navigate life as a blind person, and eventually founding Amey Motivation LLC to inspire others facing seemingly insurmountable challenges.

Kijuan's journey teaches us about resilience in its purest form. From learning to use assistive technologies to mastering everyday skills again, each small victory became cause for celebration. "I wasn't able to do that last week, and now I am," became the mantra that pulled him from despair toward purpose. His approach crystallized into what he calls "the Will to Overcome" – Win In Life's Lessons – extracting value from every experience, no matter how painful.

This conversation isn't just about blindness or disability – it's about the universal human experience of facing unexpected devastation and choosing to move forward anyway. As Kijuan reminds us, "Every situation in life teaches you a lesson." His upcoming book "Don't Focus on Why Me" expands on this philosophy, rejecting victimhood in favor of growth and possibility.

Ready to transform your perspective on life's challenges? Visit ameymotivation.com to connect with Kiwan, book him as a speaker, or explore his teachings on resilience, adaptability, and finding purpose through pain.

Chapters

• 1:11 Introduction to Kiwan Aimee
• 5:14 Military Career as Refueling Specialist
• 10:59 Life-Changing Motorcycle Accident
• 17:58 Learning to Live Blind
• 26:14 Military to Entrepreneur Transition
• 37:08 The Will to Overcome Adversity
• 49:33 Don't Focus on Why Me
• 55:27 Connecting with Audiences
• 1:02:20 Final Advice and Contact Information

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:37

Hey, good afternoon. Welcome to Moral Injury Support Network podcast. I'm Dr Daniel Roberts, president and CEO of Moral Injury Support Network for Service Women Incorporated. Today, we have an amazing guest with us. His name is Kiwan Aimee and he's the vision behind Aimee Motivation. He hails from Durham, north Carolina, where his journey of resilience and success began. After graduating from Southern High School, he dedicated a decade of his life to the US Air Force, achieving the rank of Staff Sergeant as an in-flight refueling specialist. Medically retired, he transitioned into academia, earning a degree and founding Amy Motivation LLC. Formerly served as a vice president for the Carolina Regional Group of the Blinded Veterans Association, kiwan is also a mentor and ambassador for the Air Force Wounded Warriors Program.

Speaker 1: 1:32

Beyond his remarkable military career, kiwan is a man of many talents, boasting over 25 years of drumming expertise, onstage acting and now an upcoming bestseller Don't Focus on why Me. However, life took an unexpected turn on May 5th 2017, when a motorcycle accident claimed his eyesight. Yet, as Kiwan profoundly states, I may have lost my sight, but I did not lose my vision. Now, armed with an inspiring story of overcome adversity, kiwan has become a motivational force, empowering others to reach their highest potential, whether addressing a crowd of 1,500 or engaging in one-on-one sessions. Kiwan is well equipped for any speaking engagement. He's not just a speaker, he's a catalyst for transformation, ready for the task ahead. Good afternoon, kiwan. Thanks for joining us on the show.

Speaker 2: 2:28

I appreciate you having me Doug.

Speaker 1: 2:31

So fascinating story you mentioned. I may have lost my sight, but did not lose my vision. Can you help help us understand what that means for you?

Speaker 2: 2:44

yeah. So, uh, as you guys heard along with the bio, I lost my eyesight in a motorcycle accident, um, where a car pulled out in front of me and literally woke up without sight. This was not a gradual loss, but the part where I say I didn't lose my vision, of course, yeah, it sounds like just a word, a play on words, but it really means something to me for sure. Before and after my accident, I was always looking to help others, and that was always my vision was to help others succeed some way, some shape, somehow, some form, whether it was me playing sports, you know, I played team sports and football and ran track and, uh, things of that nature, played a little bit of intramural basketball and volleyball things are like things like that.

Speaker 2: 3:34

But also, you know, having my own businesses, um, before my accident, I had my own business called Kiwi Enterprise, where I did website design and social media marketing and photography for small businesses and those alike, you know, to kind of help that. So we didn't leave out the smaller people in the world, because everybody can help the big business, that got all the money, but what about the people who don't have that much money, you know? And so I was always thinking of how can I help someone, even when I was serving in the military. I'm helping, you know, because we're serving either our country or other countries and fighting for freedoms, countries and fighting for freedoms. So the vision has always been to help others. So when I say I lost my sight, that's a physical part of it, but the mindset part of it is the vision. And that was where I carried out the vision of helping others.

Speaker 1: 4:33

Okay, yeah, that's great stuff. Tell me a little bit about your Air Force before we get into post Air Force. Tell me a little bit about the work you did in the Air Force and you know achieving staff sergeant that's a good goal. I mean, in that period of time that's a great achievement. So talk about your Air Force experience, how that might have contributed to you know the skills and things that you have now.

Speaker 2: 5:02

Yeah, absolutely so. My job, as you heard as well, was in-flight refueling specialist. Some may not know what that is. That's where you refuel airplanes in midair airplanes in midair, so just think about pulling up to a flying gas station basically is what that entails to give you kind of a visual to think of. So that's literally what my job was was to connect the two planes together so that we could refuel the aircraft. Now I get this question quite a bit. People are like wait, so you got out of the plane to go fuel another one. No, not even Not doing that, we were moving way too fast okay.

Speaker 2: 5:49

Now what I will say is back in the day they did have it where, when this first, you know, long, long time ago, when they were flying these prop planes along and they still had the open canopy, where you just flying along, like a Amelia Earnhardt type thing, the Wright brothers type of situation, they would pass a hose backwards into the slipstream of the air and the plane behind them whether it was the pilot or if they had a back seat or would grab the hose and put it into the engine.

Speaker 1: 6:25

I did not know that.

Speaker 2: 6:26

Yeah, yeah, they got video of it. I'm pretty sure you could probably find, you know, some origins of airy fueling and it would probably pull something like that up and maybe go on YouTube University is what I call it and you can find that stuff. But man, when I tell you just the short innovation of air refueling, the plane that I flew on it's still flying till today, so it's like it's approaching 70 now. You know, that's some, that's people's grandparents.

Speaker 2: 7:13

Yeah, you know, and so I just think about that, and I used to. When I talk about the plane, I call it my dinosaur, because it's almost like just the things you had to do to keep it going, to keep it flying First off, you know, adding sheet metal and upgrading the engines just to make it fly faster, because we're now flying with these fifth and sixth generation fighters and stuff we got to keep it with know, stuff like that. So, um it, and the reason I'm, you know, able to keep up with all these different terminologies and the intricacies of it is because I was an instructor, you know. So I had to learn the ins and outs of this plane, right, almost as if I was a maintenance guy and I was like I don't want to learn the pneumatic system, I don't even know how to spell that word Hydraulics and electrical and fuels, and I don't care, man, can the thing fly or not?

Speaker 2: 8:09

OK, right, that's all I want to know. I know how to fly this pole and put it in the hole. That's all I want to know how to do. That's right, you know, and so that's what I did. And you mentioned the rank that I made in 10 years. That's pretty good, but I actually made staff sergeant in five.

Speaker 1: 8:29

Oh, wow.

Speaker 2: 8:30

Yeah. So I made staff sergeant in five years, man, and the ultimate goal was to commission and become a pilot. Because we were switching from the KC-135 to the KC-46, which is the brand new plane they just added to the fleet for air refueling, and I didn't want to do the refueling as a boom operator. I don't mind doing it as a you know, a pilot, but the reason I wanted to switch from being a boom operator to the pilot is because they were now putting computer screens and cameras on the plane. What could possibly go wrong with that? Right, come on, man, I don't. I don't want to be looking at a computer screen when the plane is sitting right there behind me, when I could put my eyes on it. Yeah, you know, I don't I don't need the, the, the camera to just to go out while we're doing air refueling?

Speaker 2: 9:29

That would suck. Yeah, because now I have nothing to view, you know right? So crazy stuff like that is all I could think of. And I say you know what? I'm just going to remove myself from that and become a pilot. And I was doing my degree and I had one year left, man, just one. And then this accident struck.

Speaker 1: 9:47

So yeah, so that had to be pretty difficult to to sort of like have all your at the time at least all your goals kind of get Destroyed with your motorcycle, you know. And so how did you? Uh, you know you're a motivational speaker, you get you have to keep your own motivation up, help others be motivated. But after that accident, for a while it must've been really really difficult it must have been really, really difficult.

Speaker 2: 10:23

Yes, yes, so it's been eight years now since the accident. The first couple of months, for sure, were hard. I would say that the first so I was in the hospital for two months, so from May 5th until July 7th, is when I was in the hospital of 2017. Those months were okay. They weren't terrible Like everybody thinks they might've been. Yeah, it was bad. When I found out I was freaking blind and you know, and uh, I also woke up and I couldn't talk because, um, my jaw had been broken. So they wired it shut and, thankfully, somebody told me that Cause I'm like why can't I speak or why can't I move my mouth? I couldn't even move my jaw, like anything. And so I'm like what the heck is good? This is not a cool movie. I don't like this movie you know, cause that's all I can think was a nightmare.

Speaker 2: 11:15

And so, um, you know, I had okay moments and, you know, moments of light while I was in the hospital and those moments of light, or beacons of light, were my support system Family friends, you know, co-workers, church members, man, anybody who came to see me geez man, like that stuff was so amazing. And I always like to say this, you know, when I do get to talking about that is, if you ever like and this goes to anybody who's listening to this or watching this if you ever have somebody that you know go through something traumatic it doesn't even have to be as bad as me, it could be somebody just had bunion removal, you know, surgery or something Go share some time with them, spend time with them. They might just have their foot up on, you know, on the sofa, just reclined. Bring them something to eat, ask them what's their favorite food to eat, or something like that, and make their day, because I promise you it will.

Speaker 2: 12:31

Yeah, you know, and those things were so important and so special to me. Just the moments that were shared and the time that was spent. I mean I loved so. So it was kind of a game, since I couldn't see you. I'm like hold on, don't tell me who you are.

Speaker 2: 12:49

You know I'm trying to pick your voice out of my brain, out of the arsenal and the logic or knowledge that I have. Let me see if I can piece together your vocals and who I can image or create the imagery for in my mind, because that was so cool and I still do it to today. I hear people, hey, how you doing so and so, and they're like, well, you good with that. I say, hey, I do what I can, I do what I can, and so that was always cool. Um and uh. After, I would say, I know. When I got home, so, like I said, I was discharged from the hospital july 7th I think.

Speaker 2: 13:39

Maybe a month later, man, I hit a really hard slump because the visits from people started dying down because you know they're like, oh, he's home, you know he's, he should be getting taken care of, you know, and I get it eventually, everybody's life's got to go back to normal for them. You know I know what my life did, but for them it's got to go back to what they know. Right, he's no longer in the hospital, he should be okay, he's at home, that's cool. But, man, I still needed some help. I'm still trying to deal with this. Two, two months is really one, because the first month in the hospital I was in a medically induced coma, so I don't know nothing, yeah, um.

Speaker 2: 14:23

So so, really, a month in the hospital that I'm actually awake and aware of, conscious, shall I say, um, was me like really trying to figure out and and grab a hole. You know how it feels like you're falling and you're trying to grab at something. Yeah, that's how I felt. I felt like I was falling, trying to grab at something. Yeah, and um, what I was trying to grab, it was my life. That I knew. Yeah, but it was, it was, it was moving away from me, right, and so now I have to figure out this new journey that I'm on and either keep trying to grab for the one that I used to know or start walking on this other path, you know, and so, man, I tell you, the days got dark and I my accident. Um, at the time of my accident show, I say, uh, she ghosted me. Wow, and for what? For those people who don't know what that means, that means they don't communicate with you anymore.

Speaker 1: 15:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 15:34

And remember we were. We were, you know, talking. This is not just I just, you know, messaged you on some dating app and we're still in that phase. No, we are actually going on dates, you know. I actually know your daughter. Yeah, I've been around your daughter, Like, not not just you, just, oh, we went to school together. Yeah, we, you know, we were really cool. No, no, no, that's not what we're doing here. Um, I know your mother, I know your brother, I know.

Speaker 2: 16:03

You know, like I could go down the list and now only to find out that when I reach out to you, it's somebody else's number because you've changed yours. Wow, that says a lot about you. Yeah, really, you know what I mean. Yeah, it tells me you were not really here for me, right, because that showed you I was not enough to keep you around. So, you know, and I don't I really don't harp on it too much because of the simple fact, that of where I am now and I don't just mean like in my mind or in my motivational journey, I mean in my relationship, because I'm already in a relationship and I mean she's awesome, that's good. Yeah, she's amazing compared to what I was in, you know. So I don't even focus on it because of that fact.

Speaker 1: 17:03

Right.

Speaker 2: 17:03

You know, it's not even a real thought until I start speaking about the timeline. That's really I can't even. I'm not lying to you at all. You know, and and that's what I love about it that means I have officially learned how to move on from it. And that's what I love about it. That means I have officially learned how to move on from it.

Speaker 2: 17:23

And so those are like the dark days, you know, when people do things like that. Or you know, I'm having difficulties with, with the recovery process and what I feel I should be able to do versus what I'm actually able to do. You know the difference in between reality and what we're trying to project on ourselves. And then the simple fact of, hey, man, it's going to take time, but yet I'm so hard on myself I don't realize that, right. And so I was getting depressed because I couldn't do things. And so I was getting depressed because I couldn't do things. I went from being this super independent 25 year old to now being this crazily dependent 25 year old. Yeah, you know what am I to do? I don't know how to transition back. I've been having to run so fast because of the military that now slowing down at a screeching halt pace is really, I mean it, sucked, there's no other way to put it. It was, that was the worst, you know, and so I mean depression kicked in and suicidal thoughts.

Speaker 2: 18:44

You know I'm having these suicidal thoughts of man, what if I gotta stay in the house all the time? You know, within these four walls I can't even get out of my bed without somebody helping that. What am I here for? I hope this is not going to be my life, but eventually, eventually I would find my way out, because I started to see progress, and that was what I started to hold on to, was that I was making progress. I said, man, I wasn't able to do that last week, you know, and now I am. And so when I started doing those things, man, oh, you couldn't tell me nothing. Hey, watch this, y'all want to see me walk up and down the hall? Oh, watch this, y'all want to see me run up and down the hall, like I was actually doing that, that kind of stuff in the house, you know, and it was so cool, man, and I remember the first time I even tried. Hear me clearly.

Speaker 2: 19:47

I love jumping. I used to run track and my favorite events were long jump and high jump. I'm a jumper. I could don't playing basketball. I'm a jumper. Ok, I love to jump up and catch passes in playing football. I'm a jumper. Okay, I love to jump up and catch passes in playing football. I'm a jumper, so I literally remember the first time I tried to jump after my accident. I probably got this high off the ground, but I did it. Yeah, that's what mattered. I did it, you know. And so, man, I, man, I still like these are. Those are the things I hold on to, though you know those kind of things yeah, um, that's you know.

Speaker 1: 20:28

That's amazing that you could go through that kind of experience, um being a young, very able-bodied athletic, smart, like he had all this going for you. And now it's a complete change of program.

Speaker 2: 20:46

Oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 20:48

So then you, how did you switch from that? So then you went to Blind uh, blinded veterans association right, was that? Was that your next? Or what did you transition to as you began to to be be more capable? You're, you know, you kind of moved out of that initial phase. I know you work for blinded veterans. Uh, was that your next sort of move?

Speaker 2: 21:20

My next move was to, you know, start learning how to become or how to live, blind basically. So from me learning, you know, becoming more mobile and able to get around independently, type thing, I went from you know being in a house to now going to learn basically how to be more independent as a blind person. I went to a self-advocacy mentor center for blinded people. I went to a blind rehab center that the VA has actually throughout the nation in different locations. I went to the one in Tucson, arizona, because we are privileged to go to whichever one we want, or at least we are right now anyway, won't get into that, but that taught me a lot on how do my own activities of daily living, such as cooking, cleaning, like navigating, because I had to navigate learn how to navigate? The facility that I was in and elevators, stairs, like it taught me all these different things. I learned how to you know, work out again, because they had a little gym in there and it wasn't just like I was learning how to work out, but like how to use the equipment and without sight and different things like that, what else we have, like you have, they had a cafeteria and you know, you get to see how to move, maneuver in there without or being comfortable with somebody maybe touching you or bumping into you. You have to be comfortable with that because you can't see them and they can't see you, so it's okay. If you touch somebody, just be polite and say my apologies. Is there any seats over here? You know things like that, and so it makes you speak up for yourself. You know things like that and so it makes you speak up for yourself. You know things like that, and I learned technology, learned how to use assistive technology. That's how I'm talking to you today. Do assistive technology. Right now I'm using JAWS. That program is on Windows PCs. If I was using an Apple product, it would be voiceover. Um, they'd use the same concepts, just different methods of navigating. Um, but yeah, I have Apple phone, so I use voice over on there.

Speaker 2: 23:50

And, um, I learned copper tooling, leather work, uh, woodworking. I, uh, woodworking. I did woodworking as well. I mean, yes, they, they. If you want to do it, they'll let you do it. You know, uh, as long as they have the, the, the capability, you know the, the products or whatever you have, uh that you want to do. I didn't get to do. Wait, did I do the staining? Yeah, I did the staining. She did the uh. Uh, I guess you'd call it engraving or something like that on the woodwork. I did the staining though, yeah, so, yeah, it was pretty cool.

Speaker 1: 24:30

So in the Air Force, I spent a few decades in the Army too, and then, after I retired, going the entrepreneurial route. There's some skills, some things that translate well and some things that don't. For me, I felt like, you know, in the military, um, for one thing, in the military, you don't have to find, find your own money, you can. You know the, the budget is what it is, you just manage it, whereas an entrepreneur, you have to learn how to find funding and influence people that way, that kind of thing. Um, and as an entrepreneur, uh, if you don't get after it, it's not going to happen.

Speaker 1: 25:18

We're in the military, you know we were taught a lot of. You know I served in the airborne infantry, I was in the chaplain corps, I did a lot of. You know high speed jobs, and and so you do you definitely. You learn how to work hard. You dedication, commitment, like those things can translate pretty well. But also like, if you have a day where you go, you know, and it's not going to work very hard today, I just don't feel it. You can, your paycheck doesn't change, but if you're an entrepreneur, you might go broke that way, so so, so how? How was it like translating, transitioning from, you know, military guy to now having some physical challenges, to now you're an entrepreneur. How were you able to translate across those things? What helped you, you know, make the transition from military to entrepreneur?

Speaker 2: 26:20

Well, I have to give it to you in two parts, because I was an entrepreneur before I got out or got injured.

Speaker 1: 26:27

OK.

Speaker 2: 26:27

Remember, with the Kiwi Enterprise I was a business owner there. So I was. I was high speed then you know, I mean running with that business and only to be smacked down, you know, and like what the heck? Like I was just getting my footing, yeah. And so now you know, the military, with our resilience that we had to make, you got to make a pivot and there's no stopping. You can't just stop because the enemy's there.

Speaker 1: 26:56

You got to keep going or you're going to die, you know.

Speaker 2: 26:59

And so that's the mindset I, I, I took um, of course, the resilient mindset, but it was just more of a I can't give up now, because if I give up now, I feel like not just am I'm letting other people down, I'm letting myself down, because I know what I'm capable of. And once I got the tools, especially from the Blind Rehab Center, like I told you, I learned how to use a computer, learn how to use a phone. Hey, what do you need to do or use to get a business going? You need to use a computer, you need to have access to a phone. I got what I need. It's time to run again. Now I might not be running as fast, but I am running.

Speaker 2: 27:44

And then I also have to say, like I mentioned to you, I started this in 2019. I started my business, amy Motivation, in 2019. And which is, of course, before the pandemic, but only one year before the pandemic. Now I'm moving pretty good and in my Amy Motivation business, but when the when pandemic struck, covid, oh my gosh, here we go again Square zero. I'm back down to square one, man, and I'm like, if it's not one thing, it's another. Now everybody's shut down Now we got to pivot to go to Zoom.

Speaker 2: 28:32

I don't want to do Zoom this is speaking we're talking about, but yet you want me to do it on a platform. Come on Like. I want to do it on a stage, not behind a screen. And so I had to pivot. I had to learn the Zoom. I had to learn Zoom. I had to learn Google Meet. I had to pivot. I had to learn the Zoom. I had to learn Zoom. I had to learn Google Meet. I had to learn some. It was some other stuff. I'm just like listen, man, it was.

Speaker 2: 29:05

It was becoming frustrating to the point where I wanted to give up. Don't get me wrong. To give up, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it was always easy. Yeah, I wanted to. But at some point somebody walks past you or they come up to you and they say, man, I love the, I love your story, or I love what you were doing. I seen you on on the news this day and the third. And I'm like gosh, darn it. I got to keep going. People are seeing me.

Speaker 2: 29:42

Basically, what I'm saying is that was the reminder, this is why you're doing it, and so I just had to keep going. For that that reason, I just got another reason yesterday, literally last night, dad texts me. He's been seeing all of my um, my videos from my little shorts and and clips and stuff for the podcast that I've been doing, and he's like man, you're, you're the reason that's keeping me going, you're the reason I stay. I'm staying here and what he means is on earth. Yeah, that's awesome, you know, and I'm like I gotta keep going. That's all that's telling me is I have to get out of the bed and keep going, right, because nobody else can speak like I can. Why? Because I'm the only Kiwan, amy, you know, and so that's why that's how I look at it, and it's not to say that I'm, you know, braggadocious or outlandish or no. It's just that I'm the only one who lives this story with the same name.

Speaker 1: 30:51

I'm the only one I certified, stamped, approved that's right you know, so yeah yeah, and I I think it's really important, like there are, there are people that your story is going to really reach, and the way you speak, the way you talk, you know what you offer them. It's really gonna. It's really gonna speak to them's really going to speak to them, and you know others. Other stories speaks to other people, so on and so forth. So I love that idea of you know making your story, making your experiences um a a learning opportunity for others, so that it's not just about you and you getting getting through this, but it's about, okay, what can I, how can I use this to share with others?

Speaker 1: 31:41

um and you mentioned church, so that might be part of your. Your faith is just, like you know, I I have this. You know, like many a friend of mine, he, he had cancer. They, they gave him a 30% chance to live.

Speaker 1: 31:55

He was very frustrated about it for a while but then, you know, he felt like God was saying hey, this is not about you you know, and go find some people to help, and so he would take his little IV cart and wheel it down the hallway and talk to other people, and so it's a similar thing. You know, as I hear your story, I go. You know this is. You know, this is not about you. This is about what you can do to help others and you know everything that you overcome, everything that you're able to. Another, as you mentioned, another thing you're able to check off and say I achieved that. I'm able to do.

Speaker 1: 32:32

That now becomes part of what you can share with people when you're on the stage or behind the screen, on zoom, on this podcast, whatever of like lessons learned, cause we all have parts of life that suck, we all have stuff that happens to us and we you know.

Speaker 1: 32:48

I think I think one thing that's important to that I have to remind myself about is that you know I have plenty of goals and ideas, things I want this organization to achieve, people we want to help. But I have to remember like there's all kinds of bumps along the road, there's all kinds of challenges, there's all kinds of obstacles to overcome, and getting hit with a major challenge doesn't mean you're not supposed to do this. It means there's a learning lesson here for you to, for you to you know overcome, to learn, um, you get wisdom by experience, so so that's really important. Um, as, as you uh do, do your speaking engagements and stuff, what, what really? You talked about helping others, but is there, is there some you know key message that you offer people as you do, uh, you know your various speaking engagements and so on?

Speaker 2: 33:51

well, I mean, the biggest one is always going to be about overcoming adversity. Um, because that's what I had to do. I had to overcome adversity, the hardships you know. Keep a resilient mindset.

Speaker 2: 34:02

Um, these different phrases or key points I can speak to, and very easily, um, cause I'm a resilience coach as well, not just a keynote speaker. And so, you know, being a mentor, you have to not only be able to understand their situation but speak to it. And, like you mentioned, you know what better way to teach or talk to someone by having the wisdom and the sure experience in something? I can't teach somebody how to play the drums if I've never done it Right, you know. So I've been doing that for over 25 years, and if I can't show you something, I ain't doing it right, you know.

Speaker 2: 35:06

But the thing is that, when it comes to what I speak to, it's really about, you know, just, I mean, of course, the experience, but the, the overcoming adversity, and one of my favorite topics to speak on was or or, that I titled. It was called the Will to Overcome. Now, will is an acronym, though, and that's what I wanted people to understand. Will is, in all caps, w-i-l-l, and it stands for Win in Life's Lessons. I like it. We have to win in life's lessons. I like it. We have to win in life's lessons in order to overcome.

Speaker 2: 35:39

And so, when I broke it down, you know, for them it was like oh, the light bulb came on. But that's what you need. You need something to remind you, I need something to hold on to, what can make me remember this right, for when that moment strikes or when I feel like I forgot something. Oh, shoot, okay, he said will, will to overcome. Uh, winning life's lesson? Okay, got it got. What lesson is this teaching me? Yeah, whether good or bad, listen, every lesson in life, good or bad, teaches you something.

Speaker 1: 36:24

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 36:25

If you get burnt by the stove, you'll know how not to do it next time.

Speaker 1: 36:28

Right.

Speaker 2: 36:29

That's right. You know what I mean. That's right. You know what I mean. If you, if you, if you win a lot of money doing the one thing and you found a strategy how to do it, you're going to keep that strategy. I bet you write it down and you're going to keep applying it. You know so. You just got to take the lessons from it. But everything, every situation in life, teaches you a lesson. So that that's like that's the things I speak on.

Speaker 1: 37:00

So you mentioned, you're a drummer. My son is a drummer too.

Speaker 2: 37:03

Oh nice.

Speaker 1: 37:05

He's learning. He's been doing it. I think we got him the drum set last year for Christmas. He loves heavy metal, so he's, he's uh. You know, he lives next door to us and it's fun to listen to him tearing it up, you know and he, he like knows all these drummer names like this.

Speaker 1: 37:30

Last weekend we went to the sonic temple music festival in ohio. Four days of heavy metal music, 10, 12 hours a day. It was awesome just being out there. And he could, he would. We didn't see every band, of course, because they had four different stages going. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but but he would be like jay's really tearing it up. Who who's Jay? Oh, that's the drummer of the, you know, so he's all into it, music drumming. So I know that's probably a practice for you, something that helps you mentally, helps you emotionally, whatever. What are some of the things that you do that just, you know, help keep your spirits up and help keep you, you know, help keep you going, feeling good? What are those kinds of things that you do that that kind of helps do that for you?

Speaker 2: 38:26

Well, I do like to. You know, I love learning, and it's kind of hard for me to turn my brain off, especially now with me losing my eyesight Right. But one thing I love to do is sit in silence. Some people, you know, say it's weird, awkward, but until you actually experience it, you won't know what it's like. Yeah, that's one thing I do it. You won't know what it's like. Yeah, that's one thing I do love, you know, quietness, because I can either silence the noise or I can add to it. I want to be in control of the environment and because when you go outside your door, you're no longer in control. Right, there's then the environment and there's the world. And so, yes, I have my music, my, you know, my drums and the piano here that I can play when at my whim, whenever I feel like it, cause, as you can probably see, you know, there there is some soundproofing on the wall.

Speaker 1: 39:32

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 39:32

So, you know, I can play whenever I feel like it, and I can also listen to music whenever I feel like it. I don't always have to play to be in a good comfort zone with music, because listening also is a teaching method as well. What do I mean by that? Well, I play at my church. They send out a song list once every month and that's the list we're gonna have for the month. Well, I listen to those youtube videos that are attached to the links to make sure that I listen first and then I can play with it later, because to listen is to get the structure of the song.

Speaker 2: 40:18

Okay, it opens up like this Okay, then it transitions to this All right, the chorus sounds like this oh, that's a nice vamp. And then it goes back to the chorus, oh. And then the ending God, I like that Cool, play it, course. Oh. And then the ending god, I like that cool, play it. And then I now get behind the set with it in my ears and I'm playing with it, you know, and it almost makes you learn it twice. You learn it. The first one is mentally the, the second is now physically Right, you know. And so when you apply those types of things to life, you learn so much better.

Speaker 2: 41:05

It comes to you almost like that with in-flight refueling when I was in the military With my job. They call that chair flying. They call that chair flying. What do you mean by that? Well, you chair fly a mission by literally sitting there in a chair bed. Wherever you are, you think about your mission.

Speaker 2: 41:24

Ok, we got C-17s that we're refueling tomorrow. Let me go look up all the information on a C-17. All right, that's in my memory banks. All right, let me walk through this checklist and I'm going to walk through every step of the checklist and I might even pull up the computer to see the amplified version of the checklist, to know the cautions, the notes, the warnings that might be associated with it. If I know all of this stuff, and then I get on that plane as soon as that instructor asks me a question, oh yeah, that's not. When you do this and this and this, oh yeah, I'm checking for this, this and this there's nothing that can make you stumble, there's nothing that can trip you up. Right, you're now what they, what we call ahead of the jet.

Speaker 2: 42:21

Don't get behind it, because when you're behind the jet it's gonna get kind of bad yeah but when you're ahead of the jet you're in a good space and things move so smoothly, you know. So that's that's all I think about when it comes to. You know, head spaces and things that kind of keep me in a good space like a, a grounded or even just mellowed out.

Speaker 1: 42:47

Yeah Well, it's about your book. Don't focus on why me.

Speaker 2: 42:54

Yeah, sheesh. Well, you could probably understand the title Don't Focus on why Me. But if you don't, it's basically saying in such a phrase don't focus on that victimized mentality, because why me is always a victimized mentality. Yeah, why did this happen to me? That's really what I'm saying, because that was what I was faced with. Why did this motorcycle accident happen to me? I didn't know how it happened until I was told. But now, why? Now that I'm told, why did this happen to me? What the heck? You know, that's the victimized mentality.

Speaker 2: 43:43

Now, when you don't focus on that side of it, you can probably think about okay, well, let me think, let me think, how can I use this to either leverage it or figure out how to get somewhere out of it. Maybe I'm trying to now better myself versus sitting in the pity and wallowing in it. I'm not a pity party type person. So when I realized, okay, I'm sitting in one, I had to get out of it. I was like, nah, this is not gonna work for me, I don't like this.

Speaker 2: 44:22

And so I even had a guy uh and I wrote this in my book had a guy, really good friend of mine. He came into the uh, came to see me at the hospital. To see me at the hospital. Knocked on my door, he's like hey, what's going on, man, how you doing? I said I'd be doing a whole lot better if you didn't act like I died, like literally. He's like what you mean? He's like why are you talking like that? I was like you never talk to me like this. What's wrong with you? I was like something wrong with you Because there ain. You never talk to me like this. What's wrong with you? I was like something wrong with you, cause ain't nothing wrong with me you know what.

Speaker 2: 44:55

I mean Other than the accident. I need you to act like I'm still here, Right, I'm not laid up in a pine box sitting in front of a church or a morgue, whatever you want to call it, you know. I need you to realize something. I am able to talk to you. You're not just coming to a grave site to visit me.

Speaker 1: 45:19

Thank God.

Speaker 2: 45:20

You know exactly, you know. So why are you treating me like that? Don't treat me like, don't treat me like that. So when I got out of the victimized mentality, I made everybody else who came to see me do the same thing. Hey, hey, it's okay. No-transcript, because the other thing is, when something happens to you, it also has a ripple effect to everyone around you, right? So don't just think this happened to you, this happened to everybody. That's connected to you, trust me.

Speaker 2: 45:58

I know because I heard the stories of when everybody was in that hospital in the wee hours of the morning we're not talking about like eight, nine, ten in the morning, we're talking about two and three in the morning when they came to see me Because everybody was finally getting there to the hospital and finding out that I had been in an accident. And I mean it was people, not just, like you know, my family. No, we're talking about family, friends, co-workers, like everybody, church members, everybody who was told called somebody else. Yeah, excuse me, thank you. And then it was like a lobby full, and when I tell you, to the point where even the, the staff, the, the hospital staff were like what is going on? Who is this guy Like they're asking my mom and asking who is he? Is he like somebody famous or something like all these people like, oh no, is he like somebody famous or something like who are all these people like? Oh no, I mean, he was in the military, it's just his family and friends and some of his military friends. And she was like, wow, we've never seen something like this. Usually when somebody's in the ICU, maybe like the mom or the dad, or show up, maybe some siblings, but this is a lobby full and coming at it wasn't just a lobby full. It was the time that people were showing up. You don't see too many people out at two, three am in the morning going to a hospital, you know. I mean. So that's just.

Speaker 2: 47:47

You know the mindset behind the. Don't focus on why me. It talks about me being in a hospital. It talks about the recovery. It talks about me, you know, going to therapy sessions such as physical therapy, occupational, mental, all of it. It talks about all of that the depression, the suicidal mental, all of it. It talks about all of that the depression, the suicidal thoughts, the, just the transition. You know what this did. That's what the book is about, what it did to me and how I started to you know. Come back in the recovery process.

Speaker 1: 48:22

Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's awesome. So, as you know I was. I was just thinking, like the people that know you are close to you are fortunate because they have a living example they can look at to. When they're struggling, they're feeling down or they're feeling like a little inadequate, they can go. Kiwan is not giving up, he's not quitting. He's a real life example, model for me to emulate and I'm guessing they can reach out to you and get in touch with you whenever they need to to just get a word of encouragement. That's really they're fortunate people um for that. Now, when you, when you connect to so you mentioned that you've um spoken with audiences 1500 people and so on someone myself who does a lot of teaching um and educating, I've done some keynote stuff but that's a large crowd to connect to and there's got to be some skills, some techniques that you use to connect to so many people. Tell me about how you really connect with audiences and, you know, keep them involved and engaged.

Speaker 2: 49:53

OK, well, first I got to preface by saying before I ever got into speaking, as you mentioned in my bio, I used to be an actor. I had to know how to work a stage actor. I had to know how to work a stage, yeah, um, so that I use, I use those tools, tools from that, um, and and also, of course, the certification that I that I do have in speaking, yeah, Um, but the working in the stage is is such a huge thing. Engage your audience. They want you to engage with them. Yeah, they do. They're like because they want to feel included.

Speaker 2: 50:31

Right Now, if you just talk straight to the back of the room or talk straight to the front row, everybody sitting in the back is just going to be like, well, this sucks. Yeah, you know, if you're talking to one side of the room, you never move to the left. But, right, they're going to be like, well, what did I come here for? Does he know somebody over there, like you know, is that his family sitting over there or something? Right, they're going to feel some kind of way and now they're losing the message. But if you get engaged, the entire audience. But if you engage the entire audience and not only engage them, but captivate them to the point where they don't want to look at anything else, they don't want to think about anything else, and when I was actually speaking to that crowd of 1500, I had no clue. It was that many people in there I didn't want to know. I want to act as if not necessarily as an empty room, but I want to act as if I am just speaking to individuals' souls.

Speaker 2: 51:43

I want to speak to their souls, not the number. That's what my goal is to touch your soul, because if I can impact you in a manner that you'll never forget me, it's not to just be like oh, it's fandom this blah blah. No, it's to say that my message worked and it got across.

Speaker 1: 52:03

Right.

Speaker 2: 52:04

I want you to feel different than when you came, and so when I talked to that crowd by the way, that was actually at Seymour Johnson, by the way, that was an entire wing, yeah, of individuals, the wing of actually my, where my squadron was, but it also included the maintenance guys and the, the what are they called? Something? Ah, see, see what? No, not, it's not see you, some other guys, but anyway, it was the whole wing, the whole wing, basically, and we were all in the hangar. I have a microphone in my hand. There's a plane in the background.

Speaker 2: 52:52

Yeah, literally, that's how big this place is that I'm speaking in. And so me talking to them was not about, uh, me still in the spotlight. It was about me telling my story to about that plane, because that was when we were switching from the 135 to the 46, and I just wanted to. My job was to highlight how amazing that plane was to me. I felt some kind of way about us not having that plane anymore and I wanted the audience to know it. Yeah, how do I accurately get my emotions across? And that's all I did, but I did it really well Because the commander, the wing commander, everybody's wow, hey, man, great job, dude. You did great and I'm like I just want.

Speaker 2: 53:51

I just spoke from the heart yeah I didn't write nothing down, like none of that literally just spoke from the heart and gave a couple of examples. That was it and I'm walking off nice.

Speaker 1: 54:08

So, uh, I think it's. You know, you learn so many lessons, you have so many things to offer folks and, um, I can feel your inner motivation to, really, you know, help people do better. If someone listening today is facing a life altering challenge, what is the first piece of advice you would have for them If you don't know anything about their challenge? You don't know if it's suicide, mental health, physical health, some they're struggling with families and whatever it is, but they're just in a really, um, potentially like divorce. You know, one of those life-altering challenges that really you know, have you be looking at. What's the first piece of advice you give them?

Speaker 2: 55:06

Okay, I got two pieces, but the first one would be you know it's kind of cliche, but one day and one step at a time. One day and one step at a time. The second piece that I would give you, or anybody, is that you're not the only one that this has happened to. So don't feel like you're alone. Yeah, because that's where a lot of people go into the you know the spirals. Yeah, you know I've had so many people talk about how they just feel either alone or they feel like this is the worst thing that could ever happen. So I'm like you know you're not the only one that that's happened to. Right, let's find you some help. Let's do that. Then that is what a step finding you some help. So that's why I always start with one day and a step at a time.

Speaker 1: 56:13

I really do think that we I know, if I'm just speaking for myself, most of the time when I'm struggling mentally or emotionally, where I'm really feeling burdened or afraid or anxious, whatever it's usually about something that's in the future, not with what I'm dealing with today. I mean, there are occasionally times where I should deal with this today. I'm going to put it off for tomorrow, cause I can and and I just, you know, maybe I'm waiting for this or that and it's like I'm gonna do that tomorrow, but I'm I'm I. I am a disciplined person and normally a disciplined person. I've learned that it's better for me to like if I'm feeling afraid and something I need to do right. Best, best thing to do is take action and the action itself, even if it's something I need to do right. Best best thing to do is take action and the action itself, even if it's something that I'm really, really afraid of. The action itself puts you in a different mindset, cause you're not just thinking about should I, shouldn't I, how's it going to work? You just start doing it and and you can, you can find your way, you can take that next step, you can do something.

Speaker 1: 57:29

Most of the time when I'm anxious. It's about something three days from now, a week from now, a month from now. What if this happens? What if that happens, whatever? So the idea of taking it one day at a time is you know that's something you don't have to worry about Do what you're supposed to, what you need to do today. If there's things in the future you're concerned about, let's say, you know a bill's coming up and you're not sure you're going to have the money for it, well then the action to take and maybe the bill's not due for a week the action to take today is some action that will get me the money that I'll need in a week to pay the bill's not due for a week. The action to take the day is some action that will get me the money that I'll need in a week to pay the bill. Not just doing over, you know, paying the bill and stuff like that.

Speaker 1: 58:16

Um so, uh. For me it's like do your planning, uh, you know, but once you have a, once you have a plan, then you just have to start executing it, and you can only do that one day at a time, you know. In other words, it's in our head that we're far into the future and however we vision the future, it's like I might think hey, tomorrow I'm gonna have to do blah, blah, I just know, tomorrow I'm gonna do blah, blah, blah. Well, I could wake up in the morning and some something can happen that could totally change my plan, and you know.

Speaker 1: 59:00

So you really just don't know, and and I think we do waste a lot of time, energy and just lose our motivation because we're just thinking about something that, in reality, is never going to happen, just the way we think it's going to happen. It's not going to, but we can see what is right in front of us and we can do things with it right. Yeah, we can do things with it, right, yep. So how do people get in touch with you if they want to book you for a? Now, before I say this, you do coaching you mentioned too, right.

Speaker 2: 59:40

Yes, resilience coaching.

Speaker 1: 59:41

Yeah, so if somebody wants to get in touch with you to get services from you, how would they do that?

Speaker 2: 59:54

Yeah, no, easily, man. I have a website. They can go to amymotivationcom. You can get basically everything that I offer from there in my book. Don't focus on why me is up there. The link is up there for the actual paperback version, but if you would like to have it, you know an access for your phone and you can find it on Kim Kendall. You can find it on audible for the audio version as well as Apple. Both of those are audio versions and just type in the same title. If you would like to book me for a speaking engagement, you can go in there. I have a book me link for a conference conventions, whatever you need me to speak for, it's totally up there as well.

Speaker 2: 1:00:35

And for my social media handles. I'm on Facebook, LinkedIn and Instagram. All of them are Key One Amy, Every last. All of them are key one, Amy. Um, every last one of them. So K I J U a N a M E Y is the last name. So, yeah, you can find me all over the place, and I also have some videos on my website as well, with me speaking and playing the drums.

Speaker 1: 1:01:02

Awesome. We will have all this in the show notes for this, too, and when we post when this goes, when the recording's available, we'll put it all on social media and stuff so that people will have your website, they'll have information on how to get in touch with you, and so on. So it's been great having you today. I appreciate sharing with us and using all that you have gone through and using all your experiences to try to help others. I really appreciate that and I wish you the best in all your endeavors.

Speaker 2: 1:01:42

Thank you, Dr Roberts. I appreciate you having me on your platform to share my story Welcome.