Resilience, Service, and Breaking Barriers: Lt. Colonel Alea Nadeem's Journey

Lieutenant Colonel Alea Nadeem's story begins with trauma that would break many people – kidnapped at age eight by her own father and taken from the United States to Iraq for nearly four years. Born to an American Catholic mother and Iraqi Muslim father, cultural and religious tensions tore her family apart when her father took the family on what was supposed to be a visit to Iraq. When it came time to leave, he forced her mother to choose which daughter to take back to America, leaving young Alea behind.

This profound childhood betrayal left Alea with deep abandonment issues that continue to surface in her relationships today. She describes becoming "hyper-independent" as a protective measure – struggling to ask for help, reluctant to depend on others, and being devastated when someone fails to follow through on promised assistance. Yet rather than allowing this trauma to define her, Aaliyah transformed it into remarkable resilience.

"I've never had a harder day in my life since being kidnapped," she reflects, explaining how this perspective helps her face new challenges with confidence. After returning to America and overcoming cultural readjustment struggles, Alea joined the Air Force, rising through the ranks from enlisted to officer, ultimately becoming a Lieutenant Colonel and Commander.

Her proudest professional achievement came from recognizing a seemingly small but significant issue affecting servicewomen – outdated hair policies causing physical harm. Using her intelligence training, she gathered data proving these policies were founded not on operational necessity but on outdated cultural attitudes from the 1940s. Despite facing five years of rejection, she persisted respectfully through the chain of command until reaching success – changing not only Air Force policy but influencing similar changes across other military branches and even internationally.

Now Alea has set her sights on a new mission: running for Congress in her hometown of Toledo, Ohio. Focusing on manufacturing revival, combating the opioid crisis, and advocating for servicewomen's equipment needs, she hopes to bring her military leadership experience and problem-solving approach to government. Throughout her remarkable journey, her measure of success remains not positions or accomplishments but character – how she treats others and what kind of difference she makes in their lives.

Want to learn more or support her campaign? Visit https://aleaforcongress.com or find her on social media platforms.

Chapters

• 0:00 Meeting Lt. Colonel Alea Nadeem
• 3:02 Childhood Kidnapping and Cultural Divide
• 9:18 Abandonment Issues and Emotional Struggles
• 19:24 Returning to America and Cultural Readjustment
• 31:30 Leading the Air Force Hair Policy Revolution
• 46:29 Running for Congress and Future Goals

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:34

Good afternoon, dr Danny Roberts, president and CEO of Moral Injury Support Network for Service Women Incorporated. Welcome to the Moral Injury Support Network podcast. Today we have a great guest, aaliyah Nadim. She is a Lieutenant Colonel and Commander of the 150th Security Forces Squadron at the 150th Special Operations Wing in Kirtland Air Force Base, new Mexico. Prior to joining the Special Operations Wing, she was a Congressional Budget and Appropriation Liaison to the Senate Appropriations Committee, assigned to the Secretary of the Air Force Financial Management and Comptroller at the Pentagon. Prior to that, she served as a Policy Advisor on the National Security Council Council, assigned to the Executive Office of the President at the White House. She assisted and advised the President and National Security Advisor on defense matters. She previously chaired the Department of the Air Force Women's Initiative Team.

Speaker 1: 1:31

Lieutenant Colonel Nadim entered the Air Force in 2004 as a graduate of enlisted basic training. She later commissioned and is a graduate of Air Force Reserve Officer Training Corps. She's an intelligent officer by trade who's focused on the Middle East. Lieutenant Colonel Nadeem has been assigned with security forces the Air Force Office of Special Investigation Headquarters Air Force and deployed to the Combined Air Operations Center in support of Operation Inherent Resolve. Welcome to the podcast, aliyah. How are you?

Speaker 2: 2:03

I'm good. Thank you, Dr Roberts. I appreciate you inviting me and then also all the work that you do. I think it's so important.

Speaker 1: 2:13

Thank you very much. It's great to have you on the show and I know that you know reading, getting a little bit of your background. You had a really traumatic start to life, didn't you?

Speaker 2: 2:28

Yes, I mean, I kind of laugh about it because sometimes, when dark things happen, the best way to deal with them is laughter. Dark things happen, the best way to deal with them is laughter. But yes, I had a very traumatic experience as a child. Unfortunately, I was kidnapped, and I was kidnapped by my own father, and it really has. It has to do with culture, right, having two family members, my being my mom and my dad, um, coming from two different cultures, getting married and then having, you know, two children, me and my sister, and how, when culture doesn't work and when religion becomes a conflict, what can happen? And I think in my case, you know, culture and religion really divided my family and that's what caused a kidnapping at a young age for me.

Speaker 1: 3:26

Okay, so was it your dad that kidnapped you? Was it because of you know? It was because of religion, and he wanted to get you away from your mom because of a religious disagreement. Is that what it was?

Speaker 2: 3:41

yeah, I mean I. So one of the things is, you know when, when my father so my father came over here to the united states and he he was going to school and he he met my mother, and so my dad is muslim and my mom is catholic, and a just a fun tip out here, I don't know if anyone knows those two religions always don't get along, or see eye to eye. It's been happening for thousands and thousands of years.

Speaker 2: 4:10

But my parents thought that love could conquer all and they, they, I think they tried to give it a shot and I think with young, you know it, sometimes it it is easy to overcome, you know, religion, culture, but then I think, when you have children, it changes perspectives. And so I think, for my dad, what happened is, you know, he had two daughters that were born, and you have to remember, you know, my father grew up in Iraq, he was born in Iraq. His mother, you know, came, you know his. He had a huge family, my dad right, and his mother never worked right. His mother's sole job was to raise children.

Speaker 2: 4:57

So I think, for him to come to the United States to marry an American woman and a woman who works, a woman who has a social life like a woman, who is not an Iraqi woman, I think was challenging for him. And I think where the challenge really came about is just how a little girl or a woman is supposed to be raised. And I think he just, you know, I think, in truly, he thought I was not being raised in a way that he thought was good for me and so he, you know, I think, made a decision that he thought was best for me, right, which is, which is unfortunate, because when you're a child, you know being born into one culture and then taken to another, and then back and forth. It's actually not good, but I think he thought he was making the best decision by kidnapping me to Iraq.

Speaker 1: 5:51

So so what age were you when this happened?

Speaker 2: 5:55

I was eight years old when this happened.

Speaker 1: 5:58

All right. So, and then, how long? How long were you with him?

Speaker 2: 6:04

So I was there for about three and a half years, almost four, and the way he did it, it, it, it's really interesting. It's not so dramatic like just pulls me outside of the house from the United States and takes me right, it's not, it's not that obvious what, what happens or how, how this sort of unfolded was. My father asked my mother to go to Iraq to visit his mother, so my, my grandmother, essentially he wanted us to go visit her and you know he wanted us to go as a family and we did. And you know he wanted us to go as a family and we did so. My me, my mom and my sister, my sister's, four years younger than me. We all travel to Iraq. But you know, family trip and my mom goes, you know my mom's, on a visa, I, you know, and we go there for a month and it's this awesome. I get to meet my huge family. They're so kind, they're so welcoming. I mean, we don't understand a lick of Arabic, but you can always feel when you're liked right, you know you feel love. You can feel love, I don't care what anybody says. And so I definitely felt the love by my family.

Speaker 2: 7:15

And so as that trip was progressing. You know my dad, basically, when my mom is on a visa. At the time, iraq did not have good relations with the United States, right? This is where we're talking about the Gulf War timeframes. Um embassy was closed. So when my mom goes there and my dad essentially is saying, no, you, you have to leave to my mother, and that I'm where the kids are going to stay, you know she has, she has no rights there, right, she's right. And so the only embassy that was open at the time was actually the Polish embassy.

Speaker 1: 8:01

Oh, wow.

Speaker 2: 8:02

So you know, she, my mom, went to the Polish embassy and they told her you know, we can help to a certain point, but you are a guest in this country, your visa is going to expire, you are going to have to leave, leave. And so can you imagine people are asking my mom, you know well how is? How is your husband kidnapping your daughters if you willingly went over there, right? So I mean it. It she was in a hard spot and you know, ultimately, what my dad did is he ended up making her choose which, you know which, daughter to take back to the United States. And my mom was put in a really tough spot and she had to choose a child to take back.

Speaker 1: 8:48

Wow.

Speaker 2: 8:49

And she, she chose my sister right. So my, my sister and my mom leave and I ended up staying with my dad.

Speaker 1: 8:58

Sister and my mom leave and I ended up staying with my dad. That must have been a really tough transition. I mean that, that that whole them leaving you're there. Now you're separated from your sister and your mom that must've been really, really hard. I can't, I can't, imagine how that felt.

Speaker 2: 9:19

Yeah, dr Roberts, I don't really hard. I can't imagine how that felt. Yeah, dr Roberts, I don't even know how to really describe that emotion. You know, to be honest, it's one of those things that I've done a lot of work on soul searching and happiness. And it is one of those moments in life when you're eight years old and you don't understand what's happening with your parents. Eight years old and you don't understand what's happening with your parents, and your mother picks your sister and you you kind of automatically have built in um, what's wrong with me?

Speaker 2: 9:49

right, and then yes, absolutely, and then you have, then you're gonna have abandonment issues.

Speaker 1: 9:56

Absolutely.

Speaker 2: 9:56

You know. So I have really struggled with abandonment issues because of that foundational moment, and you know I'd be. You know I've done a lot of work on it, but it creeps up it will always be there.

Speaker 1: 10:14

And I'm sure we're going to get into your Air Force career a little later. But I'm sure you know in the Air Force something like the military, where there is a lot of challenging situations, basic training, you know deployments, all kinds of things in things. That's when they pop up right, that's when they get triggered. You know if you're in a relationship with somebody and you know a boyfriend, girlfriend, whatever, and you know relationships are difficult enough, but then you have abandonment issues, this other stuff. I mean it makes it really hard when there's work difficulties or relationship difficulties. That's, I find, when a lot of times that deep-seated childhood trauma likes to really come to the surface and you know it just creates this huge storm of emotions.

Speaker 2: 11:16

Right storm of emotions, right, yeah, isn't it? There's some irony, I think always is like you become this adult and then you get in these hard moments and you're like you're triggered by your foundational moments as a child. And I think where I've really struggled with abandonment is in personal relationships and it's because, you know, the closest people to me in my life in some ways abandoned me in different ways, right, so I looked at as my mom abandoned, abandoned me when, when she was really faced with a hard choice. But then when I actually was, you know, rescued and got out of Iraq, back to the United States, you know I didn't have my dad, right, so then I felt I don't have a dad.

Speaker 2: 11:58

So I abandonment has been a struggle in my relationships and I think, you know, I hope one day it's not, but there is just something that you always feel in abandonment and you're, you're sometimes you're seeking. You don't want someone to abandon you, but it may happen in life. I mean, that's just, that's just life. But I think for me that's my Achilles heel, right, that's my, that's my weak spot and I I'm still, to this day, trying to to work through that, and it's challenging in relationships.

Speaker 1: 12:34

Yeah, so so, how, how, how do you work? What are some of the things that you do to help you, um, when those uh to work through, uh, abandonment issues, especially in relationships? What are some things that you do that you've been doing to work through that?

Speaker 2: 12:59

Yeah, I want to answer this two ways. I want to say what I've done to protect myself, and then I, and then I'll talk about you, know, know, what I've done. So I think what I've done is the first step is just identifying it, right? That, hey, this is a you know what is this thing that constantly comes up, right and it's like, okay, I've identified that it's abandonment. Okay, now let's look at the facts, right? So I, you know, I'm an intelligence officer by trade, so I like to look at facts.

Speaker 2: 13:27

And so I have to. I do this a lot where it's like these are my feelings and then here are the facts, and then I sometimes look at both of those and go, okay, what's, what's the reality? It's somewhere here in the middle, but sometimes for me I will discard facts and go off my emotion on, you know, this relation, you know I'm feeling abandoned in this relation, but then sometimes there is truth to it as well. I think some of the things that I've done and this is, you know, you're the doctor here you can tell me here but I've done a couple of things that I think are good, they're protective factors, but I also think they can be, um, a little detrimental, and so I have become hyper independent, right.

Speaker 2: 14:16

I do not I really struggle with relying on people. I struggle with asking for help. I struggle not if I can't do it alone or I can't do it by myself. It can stress me out, right, and I'm talking about like personal matters, not in the military. Like the military, I think, actually has really helped me because it breeds this awesome culture of teamwork.

Speaker 2: 14:39

You can't do it alone.

Speaker 2: 14:41

So I'm really talking about personally is there is an anxiety if I have to depend on somebody else, and so having to depend on it's made me just always think about how do I, how do I do things by myself, right, whether it's safety and anything you can imagine. So there's this hyper independence and I think that could turn, that could be intimidating, or for somebody else is like you don't even need me, you don't even want me, and it's it's not that, it's just my protective measures, and so I think that has um sometimes hindered, you know, or or made relationships more difficult, and this is not just with you know, um like partner relationships. This can be also with with friendships, and you know, one thing too is if I do ask for help, which is always hard and then I ask for help and then somebody can't do it or blows me off, it is crushing. And it probably shouldn't be. It should be like someone's busy, someone has other things, but for me it is soul crushing if I ask for help and don't get help.

Speaker 1: 15:47

Right, because you could, you really like, put yourself on on the, on the lot, you'd like, you overcame all your emotional anxiety and you said, ok, this time I'm going to really do it, I'm going to ask for help. And you're really vulnerable at that moment Emotionally, emotionally, very, very vulnerable. And then if, if somebody can't help you, it might, it might even be like, not, not, they might not be abandoning you, it might just be I really can't, I have this other commitment or whatever, but because of your sensitivities there, it's just. They might as well say because you suck, I hate you and that's why I'm not going to help you. They might as well have said that because that's how it feels right and it's just reality is you know? So the difficulty is like, rationally, you get it. That's the tricky part, because I have my own stuff right and so rationally I can say, okay, this is like you talked about facts versus emotion. But being able to maintain control of your emotions is tricky because they're powerful, especially on Now.

Speaker 1: 16:59

In your job as a commander, you're probably my guess is very even keeled. You're probably a really good listener to your subordinates and you take the information in. We analyze it. Intelligence officers you guys are excellent at analysis. I mean you do like real analysis. Other people call analysis that's garbage. It's. You know. It's like analysis in the military, you know. You have these decision making processes. A lot of time amounts to well, what we really want is this. So we just fudge all the numbers till we get what we want, kind of thing. But we're going to waste 10, 12, 15, maybe 100 man hours coming to the solution we're going to get to anyway, because the commander kind of said, you know, hinted at what they really wanted. But intelligence officers, I think you do a better job, like you actually understand what analysis is. So in your job in the military you're probably pretty even keeled. You take in information, you analyze it. You can be more objective. But in your personal life it's very hard to do the same thing and I think part of it is because your experience as a child wasn't military related. It's like it's a totally different entity. You went into basic training and then later officer training and they taught you what to be and do and it gave you a sense of security. It gave you a sense of belonging. It gave you a sense of your feet on the ground because there was always a process, right, you could just do a process and that kept you emotionally I'm doing a lot of guessing here but it kept you sort of emotionally healed because you were just following a process.

Speaker 1: 18:41

Well, relationships are processes, right, they're people and they're unique and we're all a little jacked up in some ways. We're all a little like we have our own. You know stuff that comes up for us, um, so, so one thing I could say about one I totally, totally get it. But I think the other piece is um, each time you're able to um, you know, do what you want to do, be a little vulnerable, um, cause, you want to be independent, you want to be strong.

Speaker 1: 19:18

Uh, I think in every relationship, every relationship, is better when the two people are strong and independent to a large degree. Like, you don't want to be in a relationship where you're totally dependent on someone else. What they think, what they want you to do, you know how you, like, you're living your life for them. You want to live your life for yourself and they want to live their life for themselves, but also be in a relationship that's loving and has some, some reliance on each other, right, so there's a balance, for sure, each time that you, you do, let yourself be vulnerable and then, regardless of the results, you're able to grow from it is the is the key, right?

Speaker 1: 20:03

So so, if you, you say, hey, I'm going to ask for help, and then they're not able to help you and you experience this soul-crushing experience, as you said, well, great, that's an opportunity for you to not go to see, can't ask for help, I'm going to be super independent. It's an opportunity to say, okay, let me think about this and decide how you want to decide about it. Let your emotion, you know, gain just a little more control over your emotions. But you may struggle with it for years and years. That might be the main thing that you struggle with in your life and it's a blessing and opportunity. You know, some people would say this is what you signed up for when you agreed to come to earth, you know, kind of thing.

Speaker 1: 20:56

That's a whole different podcast. But you know this before life, kind of philosophy people have. We can talk about that another time, but does that make any sense?

Speaker 2: 21:08

I went on for a while, but no, no, no, Dr Roberts, that makes perfect sense. And you know I want to. I want to pull a string. Here is about asking for help, Right, and I think you said it like it's devastating to me and I I had actually a really good girlfriend, I was in the, I was in the process of moving and you know she said, hey, if you need any help, reach out, Right. And so I thought long and hard about it, Right, Cause that's that's my thing about asking for help. And I did ask for help and she, she responded, but not to my ask for help, and so I I really got you know, I love her and she's so sweet, she's good, but I was, I was scared to follow up on that and I let it go. So one day, you know, and she, and she kind of knows my my background.

Speaker 2: 21:55

And so one day she caught me and I was in the middle of a move and we were chatting and she's like, what are you doing? I'm like I'm moving and you know, so stressful. And she's like, why didn't you tell me I was like I did, and but you didn't answer and she goes. I am so sorry she goes. I forgot about it. I should have answered. She goes.

Speaker 2: 22:13

I know you have a hard time asking for help and I should have followed back up with you and, and you know, what I realized in that moment is this is somebody who loves me, right, and cares about, and she legitimately forgot. And then I started to think about myself. When somebody asked me for help, like the truth is is like I am ready to help, but I also sometimes forget Right, sometimes like hey, can you follow up? I'm like, oh, yeah, thank you, cause we all have a lot going on. So sometimes people follow up with me and I never, I never think twice of it, I just go. Oh, thanks for reminding me.

Speaker 2: 22:50

And it was like at this moment I had of, all I had to do was just follow up, right, and so she, and then actually she literally drove over that day, after we had that conversation, she drove over and that meant the world to me, right. But it just kind of made me realize you know, she knows me really well and she knew in that moment. But it's also not fair to go around and expecting people to like you ask once and they show up, or you have this sort of demand, you know, like you didn't help me. I can't go around doing that. I know that this is my problem, this is my challenge and that's okay.

Speaker 2: 23:23

But it was one of those moments. So, to your point, I think just knowing is actually really helpful, and then you have tools to figure out what is going to help you. So now, if I ask for help, I'm better about following up. Hey, I reached out and I don't get embarrassed about it or I don't get so hypersensitive about it. It's still hard, but I think it's good for me to do that.

Speaker 1: 23:50

Yeah, and, and I think you know the key is, if you look at and we're going to get into your Air Force career a little bit too, because I think it's important to highlight how successful you've been, given your the start right. The start was tough and it could have. So I think it's good, as we, as we work through this stuff, that we're like you know, um, you know we're going along after that, and then our our little trigger, our early childhood experience, whatever jumps up and we're like, oh my gosh, man, it's, you're back. Yeah, it's, it's good to remember some.

Speaker 1: 24:30

You know, I always tell people you got to be your biggest fan, right, your own, your own best cheerleader and go I'm, I am a badass, I'm a lieutenant colonel in the air force, I'm a commander, I do all this stuff. Yeah, it's a challenge, but, man, I am not going to feel like you know, beat myself up or feel like I'm weak just because I I mean, for Pete's sake, I was kidnapped as a child. I mean, you know what I mean when you do that. It's like holy smokes. I'm actually doing really well. I probably should be in a rubber room somewhere sucking my thumb.

Speaker 2: 25:05

You know, with all that went on Right, and so so you, you managed to be rescued, and after, after you rescued, did you end up with your mom or with somebody else, or what happened there? Yeah, I, you know I ended up with my mom. So, you know, came back and, you know, was reunited with my sister. So it was this, you know, this wonderful experience to come home. But you know it was wonderful to, you know, have my family. But now I had been growing up in Iraq speaking Arabic, going to Iraqi schools, living in that culture. So then, when I came back to the United States, guess who struggled? Guess who struggled with culture me yeah right.

Speaker 2: 25:51

So I was a complete nightmare to my mom because the culture was just, you know, and I was born here and I was struggling, and so then I I had to adapt. So I had a lot of struggles, right, being kidnapped in a culture. Coming back to the United States, I was behind in English, I was behind academically, I was socially awkward. I wouldn't even be in a room with a man. I was too scared to be in a room with any man with more bathing suit. I mean my mom, I mean it was terrible, and it was terrible for all of us my mom, my sister, and it was just all these growing pains. And you know, that is actually, I think all those experiences, all those hard experiences, have led me, I think, to where I am today. Right, I w I always say this I've never had a harder day in my life since being, you know, kidnapped, right, like when my mom, when I watched my mom leave with my sister. I've never had a harder day. So I can talk about all these, you know, abandonment, all that, but like there's nothing that is going to make me have a harder day, like I've had some hard days, but nothing is harder than that. So in some ways I feel blessed. It's like, okay, what do you got? Because there's nothing that trumps what happened, you know, when I was an eight-year-old child. So I think there's some protective factors there is. You do become resilient. You have so many things that happen to you where you have no choice but to get on your feet and pick up and just go, and I think that's what I've done and I really don't. You know, my successes are a lot and this is what I tell people. A lot is people are like oh my gosh, you've done all these things. You're so impressive. And I said you should not be impressed of the places I've been and what I've done. What you should be impressed about is my character, who I am as a person, how do I treat other people, what do I do?

Speaker 2: 28:05

But I don't measure my success on where I've been. I measure it on like what kind of human am I? Because I've met, I've been in the rooms with all the important people at the table and there's some pretty crappy people there, right, and I and I. All I think about is, wow, what a waste. What, what a waste, you know, what a waste of talent, what a waste of a human being, and so I think I've always, you know, I lead with kindness, I lead with servant leadership, because I didn't have a lot of those things right. People have helped me along the way, and so that's what I measure my success on, and I hope to be an example of those types of things. And I hope to be an example of those type of things not, you know what's my duty title, but all those things were hard work, right, it wasn't just given to me by any means. It was all hard work, but I think that's what counts more as character.

Speaker 1: 28:59

Yeah, I agree with you.

Speaker 1: 29:00

One of my favorite bands is a rock band called Shinedown and they have a song, um, called how do you love, and that's what the whole song is about is, like, you can be famous, you can have all this money, but really what matters is how do you love, like, how do you treat other people, and I think, uh, I think that's huge and really missing in in our society in many ways, especially in the military.

Speaker 1: 29:26

The military is super competitive, um, and you know, you can. You can, like you said, you can have a chest full of ribbons and just be a really terrible human being, um, and, and you can still move on up the ranks, you know, as long as you don't get in trouble in some way. Right, right, you know, but you can really be. So I think that's a great point, really important as a when you, you know, when you, when you look in the mirror, when you think about some of your best moments in the Air Force, can you think of one or two of those that really stand out to you as being, you know, a proud moment for you as an Air Force officer or enlisted, because you were enlisted too?

Speaker 2: 30:29

or enlisted, because you were enlisted to, uh, so you know your career, yeah, I there's. There's been a couple moments, I think you know as as a whole, I think any time somebody has asked me to promote them, um, those are the most special moments I've had, right, so I've had you know, a couple right, like I've had a couple, and those I always that means a lot to me, right, I think, who you asked, so those are, those are always special moments to me. This one's going to be a little bit odd maybe. So you know, here I am in a trained, you know, intelligence officer. I've been security forces, I've been a special agent, I've done all these things and one of one of the moments that is special to me is when me and a team worked to change hair policy in the United States Air Force.

Speaker 2: 31:18

Yeah, and, and I'll, and I'll tell you why it you know. So, when I first joined the military, I was, I was security forces, I was enlisted and we would go shoot on the range, and one of the things I remember is we had these, you know huge Cavalier helmets and you know it was. And yeah, you know what I'm, you know what I'm talking to your face right. You know the old like heavy Kevlar things that. Yeah, you know that over your neck.

Speaker 1: 31:48

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 31:51

But like, listen, they protect your noggin so you can't. You know it's like you need that thing, but when we would go to the range, we there was a couple of females we would always go ask if we could take our bun out, because the bun would get in the way of the helmet and sometimes the helmet would push up. So we would ask if we could put our hair down in a braid and then tuck it, you know, in the in the back of our blouse and we did that, and so you know it was just something we did.

Speaker 2: 32:20

You know I remember going. You know training AD reports is ordered. Can I put my hair down?

Speaker 2: 32:25

And you know there's usually some like crusty, you know combat arms instructors like sure, put it back up as soon as you're done. Right, and we did that. So, as and this is me, you know airmen like E, you know we're talking about like E3, e4, right. So, as I go throughout my career, women for years would always complain about tension headaches. Because if you, you know, if you pull your hair in the in the same way over and over and actually every day, you really do get a tension headache because it's just literally pulling your scalp.

Speaker 2: 32:54

And then I would hear women who had hair loss, especially among black African-American women. If you, if you pull your, if you pull hair a certain way for for that demographic it's called like type three and four hair it will actually create hair loss. And so I had heard this all my career, like it was just one of those things we heard. I heard, you know, pilots would have to be out of regulation, you know, to fly their plane, right, and then as soon as they landed, they put their hair back up, right. So it was just like this thing that you always heard about and you know, there there was a group of us complaining about it and you know this was when I worked on the on the women's initiative team in the air force as a volunteer and we're like, well, what if we changed hair policy? You know what? What if we did this?

Speaker 2: 33:38

And it seemed like the impossible task right, so we had the same hair policy since about in the 1940s, when women were allowed to serve in world war ii. And we, you know, we, we started gathering data and I, that's what I do as an intel professional, right, you, you, I'm not gonna have you fight me, I'm gonna have you fight the data, right, that's just intel, like you know your life can depend on the intelligence that you get, and so I kind of applied those same skill sets to hair policy.

Speaker 2: 34:10

And what we did is we looked at the history and the history is really ugly. The history of hair policy. In the 1940s Congress is debating whether they should allow women to surf Congress is debating whether they should allow women to serve.

Speaker 2: 34:28

They think what are other countries going to think if we have our mothers, daughters and sisters serving? What kind of country are we to let women serve? And they begrudgingly allow women to serve because they go. We need every able body in the United States to win this war and they, they approve women, women to serve. And one of the concerns that the public, that everybody, has is, well, you know, if you put all these women there, there may be this perception that they're prostitutes, that you've hired prostitutes, which there was some, there was some media back then about. You know, do they hire prostitutes?

Speaker 1: 35:11

sure but then there was this concern if you put a whole bunch of women together, they'd become lesbians yeah, of course right and I'm like yeah I'm pretty sure that's not how it happens yeah, right, it doesn't sound like that different of the kind of thing I heard when I first joined in 1989. I joined the infantry and dude said all kinds of stuff that was very similar. Actually sad, I mean it's.

Speaker 2: 35:39

But it is, you know, and so it's like. So this is how women come in. So the, you know the women's auxiliary core, you know, really, they're basing everything on image, right? So they even you know, elizabeth Arden is, it's a makeup brand you know they come up with a military palette to match. And so what they come up with is, you know, the Bob and the bun. Right, the Bob and the bun is not too sexy, right? Not too lesbian like you, like you know. I mean, they won't even let you buzz your, buzz, cut your hair because they don't want you to look like a lesbian. I mean, this is the history of how we got hair. Nobody at the time was going how a female is going to shoot her weapon with cavalier on no one's thinking. How is she going to fly her jet? No one is. No one is thinking about how she's going to put her NVGs on when she flies her plane. Nobody had thought about that. So the history was absolutely not based on operational readiness.

Speaker 1: 36:37

But it became a sacred cow.

Speaker 2: 36:41

Yes, it sure did.

Speaker 1: 36:44

And then all these narratives got built around, like false narratives about operationability. Got built around the hair just like beards, similar kind of thing.

Speaker 2: 36:56

You were spot on. And then we looked at the medical data. We had the medical data to show women in the military have higher rates of hair loss than civilian women. And then we also looked at other countries. Right, we looked at Canada, we looked at New Zealand, we looked at Australia. Their women are allowed to wear their hair down. Right, you know ponytails or braids? Do we think they're a less capable force? Absolutely not right.

Speaker 2: 37:23

So we put this whole thing together and everybody told us no. You know, they said, you know, basically, me and the team we were, we were changing you know hundreds of years of professionalism. We were, you know, undermining the core. And I'm like, if that's we're undermining, I mean, are you kidding me? Like, this is what we're basing it on. And so after five years, we went up the chain of command very respectfully. You know, people would tell us no, but he told us no and we would. You know, thank you very much, we're going to work the chain of command. So we worked all the way up until we got to, you know, the head of the Air Force and they approved it. They said yes.

Speaker 1: 38:05

That's an amazing story.

Speaker 2: 38:07

And then, after they said yes, the Army said yes, then the Navy said yes, then the United Kingdom Air Force changed their hair policy and you know I've given more briefings internationally on hair policy than I do any on intelligence, you know, and I don't know what to say about that right, like I don't know if that's good or not. But people were like how did you do this? And we, you know, I was like I just worked the policy, I presented the data, I did, I truly did not do anything special.

Speaker 2: 38:36

I I addressed it like an air force problem yeah and, and so I I say that's a foundational moment for me, because I know that I've left. No, no matter what happens if I leave the Air Force tomorrow, I have left it better than I found it, and it's the same effort that the women in 1941 did. You know, I stand on the shoulders of giants. All those women who served and made those sacrifices is the reason I'm able to serve, and so I'm hoping. What is the next generation going to do to make it better? And so I. That's a really proud moment for me and the team. And then women service women is we get to just do our jobs a little bit easier.

Speaker 1: 39:22

That's really inspirational story. I mean that's amazing. That's really inspirational story. I mean that's amazing. Um, and one of the one of the most amazing things for me is just like you actually believed you could. You know like it's lots of work and effort and taking all those notes, but underneath that there was like this belief that kept you going, and what I mean that's a lot of courage.

Speaker 1: 39:52

That's to think me and my little team can you know, battle against these incredible powers that be and and change the sacred cow in a, in an environment where it's not just IBM, we're talking the military that has very strict rules of processes and command authority over you. So it's not like you could. Just you had to be tactful. You had to use very antiquated processes and traditions, like you're going against tradition, which is way more powerful oftentimes than actual process or common sense, and so so like just to believe you could, and you said five years. That's incredible, because most people would have quit at the first, maybe second, maybe, maybe third, no, and you had to get a lot more of those and keep going. That's pretty amazing.

Speaker 2: 41:02

Yeah, you know, I think the belief you know I did and a lot of that just comes from you know I hate to go back here, but you know I do have a resiliency, right, like I mean, I guess that you know I've heard no more than I've heard yes, and that's what I try to impart on people is, you know, I don't think I'm successful because all these doors open, know, I don't think I'm successful because all these doors open, I think I've been somewhat successful because I don't take no for an answer. Right, I figure out how to, how to keep doing that. And it's hard when you hear no over and over again. It is so, you know, it's unbelievably discouraging, it affects your psyche and there's a lot of tears and there's a lot of tears and hardship that went into this. But I really believed that we could do it and I really did believe that it was the right thing to do. And you know, what was even the smoking gun for me is we had the data to prove it. So it wasn't just this thing in my gut that I had a feeling about. It was we had the data to show hey, we, we can do this. And so that sacred cow. We were able to go wait, but why is this a sacred cow again? So it was just enough to make people think. And there's this great General Brown he was the Joint Chiefs of Staff and he had this great thing that said, sometimes when you come up with an idea and I'm going to like, get this incorrect, but it was like sometimes your idea is like, oh hell, no, that's crazy. And then, like you know, the second thing is like, well, let's hear more about it. And then the third iteration is like, okay, well, okay, wait, that's a bad idea. And then wait a minute, why haven't we been doing that? You know, it's this iteration.

Speaker 2: 42:52

And one thing you touched on was tradition. Tradition is very sacred to the military, right? It's something really special. And when you approach tradition, I can't go into a room, yell at people, tell them they're wrong. I can't go into a room, yell at people, tell them they're wrong. You have to approach this in the utmost diplomatic and respectful way. Right, nothing gets done when you come to an argument with emotion, with name calling, with making people feel undefensive. You need to walk into a room and how do you get people on your side? How do you get someone on your team? How do you get help? And I think it's how you approach problems, somebody. I respect one of the senators that I traveled with a lot when I was a military legislative liaison. He said conversations change the world, and I believe that having a conversation about something is you plant a seed, and that's never lost upon me. So what I would encourage anybody who's having a hard problem. You know, whether it's hair, whatever it is, how you approach it, it makes a difference about the end result.

Speaker 1: 44:06

Yeah, that's really good and that is. I'm sort of taking that and absorbing that and thinking about that part of it, because it is very easy to get, you know, emotional about things and you know, whether it's in a personal relationship or, you know, at work or whatever, it's very easy to attack things and say, you know, this isn't right, we shouldn't do blah, blah, blah and. Or in a personal relationship, you know, you get emotionally spun up and then you um sort of attack your spouse or partner, um, why did you do so-and-so? And I feel this way and whatever, and the person's, like you know and, and when you do that, they can't help but fight. You know you start a fight. There's going to be a fight, you know. And so, unless you've just cowed them or you're dominating, like you know, if you have so much rank and you just walk into a room and start bullying people, there's nothing they can do. But you're really not influencing them, you're really not winning them, you're just bullying them. So that's really good.

Speaker 1: 45:24

Um, so what are you working? So here you're, um, you know you, your life experience is um to be resilient to see a problem, to go after it, to to um make a difference in the world. So, what are you working on now? What's, what is, what is uh Aliyah Nadim doing now? Uh, what's the next phase in her life? What are? What are you um working to change right now?

Speaker 2: 46:01

Yeah, it's, it's kind of crazy, actually I'm. It's kind of crazy actually I'm. I'm running for US Congress in Ohio. Oh, wow, that's what. All, that's what all sane people do is run for Congress. So clearly I'm.

Speaker 2: 46:21

I still have therapy to go, um, no, and you know, in all seriousness, um, I, you know, there there's a lot of things that, um, that are important to me in in this world, in this country, um, you know, service women, you know this country being able to, um, you know, have longevity for the next generation. And I, um, I decided to move back to my hometown, uh, which is Toledo, ohio, where I grew up, and run for Congress. I think, you know, I've seen some things in my hometown that I don't like. I don't like what's happened and I'm really grateful because my hometown made me. I think another reason I've been successful is I always joke around, I have this like Midwest work ethic, right, and I truly am the black sheep of my family, right?

Speaker 2: 47:17

My mom's an electrician, my stepdad is a welder, my sister's an electrician, my brother-in-law's an electrician and I'm I have like no real skills, you know, and and I, I just I'm so proud of them because they're such hardworking people and you know I I've been away and serving in the military and each time I'd come back home, you know my hometown was not not doing better, right, it was not better off than when I left, and so I feel a different call to service to come back home and I'm going to try to tackle this problem and I hope to be able to do that.

Speaker 2: 47:51

I think being a veteran and you'll probably appreciate this is we just like to get the mission done right, like we're common sense, we're like what's the best thing for the country, like that's what veterans do, and I'm hoping to bring those skills and leadership that I've learned in the military to Congress is like what is best for people, and I really look forward to if I do get it, you know working with other veterans in Congress and so that's. That is my next crazy adventure that I'm on right now crazy adventure that I'm on right now.

Speaker 1: 48:32

Yeah, that's awesome. What are two or three things that you're hoping to accomplish or hoping to change as a congresswoman?

Speaker 2: 48:37

Yeah, so I'm. So I'll give you an example I grew up in a union household, actually, and I grew up in a union household and, as I mentioned, my family's all blue collar workers and what you've seen, especially in the Midwest and then especially in Northwest Ohio glass city, lots of steel, right. Like think of just what I think of when you think of America, where you think of this velvet curtain, but behind that velvet curtain is like steel manufacturing, right, that is where I grew up. That's sort of like the heart of Ohio, the heart of Northwest Ohio. And again, I'm a data person. If you look at the data, right, you know, since 1983, we've seen Ohio had about a million, over a little bit over a million jobs in manufacturing and now we're down to 600 and we're bleeding out every day 600,000 or 600?.

Speaker 2: 49:36

Yeah, thousand, 600,000. Yeah, so we went from about a little over a million to 600,000 in 40 years and then we're bleeding. We're bleeding out manufacturing jobs and what you're seeing is, you know, a lot of those, a lot of those jobs were, you know, given to Mexico or get out to China because it was just it was frankly, cheaper. There's got to be a balance, right, I get that, but what was disturbing to me is during COVID we couldn't even make our own masks, like we did not have the manufacturing and industry to sustain ourselves, and that really scared me. I don't think we'll get all the manufacturing jobs back right, but I do think we have to have some sovereign options and you know, I've seen my family affected by, you know, less jobs in this area, and so that that is something that's really important to me is these manufacturing jobs and to ensure that we always have a baseline industry here and that. So that's kind of like my number one thing, because if you don't have a good jobs, that leads to other negative things which which I'll kind of go into for for vet, for veterans, you know is and Ohio has been hit really hard with fentanyl, you know they're fentanyl drugs. So if you don't have a job, drugs are cheaper and easier. It's really hard to get into that, and so those are some of the most important things that I want to work on.

Speaker 2: 51:17

And then I think this is not last, and there's a whole bunch of things I want to work on, but it's service women. I want to make sure service women are the most lethal and ready force. Right, I want all members to be lethal and ready, but I do think we have to make a concerted effort to ensure service women have the right body armor, have the right gear, because what we see is, if you don't have that when you're serving, once you go to the VA system, women have one of the highest rates of musculoskeletal issues when they go to the VA because they don't have the proper equipment. And so I think we just need to really make sure we have all those things for all members, but especially service women who decide to serve.

Speaker 1: 51:58

Yeah, that's great. One thing I want to say about manufacturing that makes me nervous about and I'm not an expert on any of this stuff but if China is one of our foreign competitors, not just for jobs but militarily, and if we rely so heavily on goods from them and we end up at war with them or something, then they have a huge advantage. And that's nonsense because as as a nation, geographically, we have enough natural resources that we could be practically self sustaining and yet we're beholding to all these other countries, um, that we could be practically self-sustaining and yet we're beholding to all these other countries that we could be at war with for manufacturing and financially, to all the debt. All this kind of stuff, and that's extremely short sighted political policy that I'm absolutely with you, needs to be changed. We should be manufacturing so much more here. But at risk of getting way out of my depth when it comes to that kind of thing, I'll leave that alone. But I do want to say I appreciate the things that you want to work on and being that moral injury support network is really key.

Speaker 1: 53:24

On service women, that's our, our main effort. Uh, I agree with you. So much we can, we can we spend uh all these months and sometimes years, uh doing r d on military equipment, uh, only to only care, but so we could really customize and really make sure service women had what they needed. We can and rather than you know, spending all those years and money on R&D only to hand the four stuff that works for men and not for women that's dumb. And then we pay for it later by all the disability and stuff and medical that women need when if they just had the right equipment they wouldn't and stuff and it hurts them and then they're stuck with these lifelong issues that they didn't have to have and that's that's terrible.

Speaker 1: 54:20

So we do need to wrap up. I would love to talk to you much more, leah. It's been a real pleasure and you have a great basis of character and knowledge and experiences I'd love to dig into, but we're out of time so I do want to just give you a chance for those listeners that might be in Ohio, voting in Ohio, et cetera, that you know. How do they find, find you, find out your information or contact you to learn more?

Speaker 2: 55:00

Yeah, Aaliyahforcongresscom. I'm on social media just like all people who are running, so you can find me there YouTube channel as well. Just I have the things that I know that are important to those in. Northwest Ohio and service women here, but I would love to hear what other people think that I should work on.

Speaker 1: 55:32

Great, okay, awesome. Well, enjoy your, as we're recording this on a Friday. So enjoy your weekend and I wish you the most success. Hope you get elected and, if there's anything, most success. Hope you get elected. And if there's anything we can do for you moral injury support please reach out to us.

Speaker 2: 55:49

Appreciate you, Dr Roberts.

Speaker 1: 55:52

Yep, have a good one, bye.